Comparison Mind, Quantum Physics, and Compassion

Dear Friends,

I have a new mantra that I have been using with my in-breath and out-breath:

Inhaling, I am awesome. Exhaling, I am not exceptional.

I started using this mantra because I noticed my inner voice sometimes says the opposite. I find myself toggling between I am not doing this right, I am not doing anything right, and I am the only one doing this right.

So my new mantra reminds me that I am wonderful just as I am and I am just one of the many wonderful beings that share this planet with me.

The Three Complexes

Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) teaches what he calls the three complexes: the superiority complex, the inferiority complex, and the equality complex. Some of us are more likely to live in the superiority complex thinking we are the only ones who get it. Some of us live in the inferiority complex, thinking we are simply not capable of being as wonderful as other people.

Mindfulness, Love & CompassionRachel SwitalaApril 13, 2023mindfulness practiceComment

Grandmotherly Equanimity

When we are able to ride the ups and downs of life, it gives us the spaciousness to help others also ride the waves. I am not a surfer, but I know that if I were trying to learn to surf, I would benefit most from an instructor who has had enough practice to stay up on her board.

In the same way, our regular mindfulness practice can help us serve the world because we won’t need to spend as much of our attention focused on balancing on our own board. Equanimity allows us to trust the world and its inevitable waves and manifests as more energy to listen to someone else’s suffering and the ability to pause before reacting to other’s words and actions.

Mindfulness, Love & CompassionRachel SwitalaMarch 3, 2023mindfulness practiceComment

The habit of believing we’re right

Dear friends,

There’s one lesson I have been trying to learn for over a decade.

It’s something Thich Nhật Hanh said in response to a question I asked during a retreat in 2012.

He said:

“I would suggest that we stop thinking that we have done our part, only he has not done his part.”

This goes on in my head many times a day— whenever I think I am doing it right and “they” are not. Whenever someone does something I don’t agree with. And it makes me feel annoyed. And while feeling annoyed may seem like a small issue, being annoyed (and thinking we are right) is the start of all conflict and perhaps even wars.

Mindfulness, Love & CompassionRachel SwitalaFebruary 16, 2023mindfulness practiceComment

Practices for Dark Days

Dear Friends,

I hope your holiday has been decent so far and I especially hope that you have had or will have some down time to rest and restore before the new year.

Starting a new year feels to me like a moment of hope. Things can be different! Even if we have struggled and suffered, felt alone, depressed, or like we have messed things up, we can remember that a new year is right around the corner.

As mindfulness practitioners, we do try to live in the moment as it is, but we don’t need to get stuck in thinking that things will always be this difficult.

Yes there is hope for 2023

Dear Friends,

I hope your holiday has been decent so far and I especially hope that you have had or will have some down time to rest and restore before the new year.

Starting a new year feels to me like a moment of hope. Things can be different! Even if we have struggled and suffered, felt alone, depressed, or like we have messed things up, we can remember that a new year is right around the corner.

As mindfulness practitioners, we do try to live in the moment as it is, but we don’t need to get stuck in thinking that things will always be this difficult.

Mindfulness, Contentment/Happiness, Self-careRachel SwitalaDecember 29, 2022mindfulness practiceComment

Adding hugging meditation to our holidays

Dear ones,

During the holidays and as we return from our COVID separation, we may want to also return to the practice of hugging our loved ones.

Below is an excerpt from my book, Things I did When I Was Hangry: Navigating a Peaceful Relationship with Food, about one of my favorite Plum Village practices – Hugging Meditation.

I also have a 1-minute video demonstrating this practice.

Mindfulness, RelationshipsRachel SwitalaDecember 15, 2022mindfulness practice, healingComment

Giving to others without harming ourselves

Dear Friends,

The holiday season exhorts us to be generous and give. What does it mean to practice generosity from a mindfulness perspective? There are so many opportunities to give material and spiritual aid; how do we determine when to give and when not to give? And how do we know when we are being generous?

Mindfulness, Love & Compassion, RelationshipsRachel SwitalaNovember 18, 2022mindfulness practice, healingComment

This wildly free composting world

Dear Friends,

I have been thoroughly enjoying the fall colors here in Washington DC. It’s amazing to me how the seasons remind us of the impermanence and continual composting of life. Didn’t new leaves just appear after a barren and lonely COVID winter? Was that really six months ago? And even as we savor the orange, red, burgundy, and yellow, the leaves don’t stop changing– getting browner and beginning to pile up on the streets and sidewalks.

It seems that only this one breath, this one moment, is where we can briefly find rest and stability, and where we have the capacity to notice beauty and joy.

My challenge with my gratitude practice

Dear Friends,

I’ve been a fan of gratitude lists and the practice of gratitude for a while. There are so many benefits of gratitude which you can read about from Web MD here or Plum Village here .

I recently realized that one of the places I am challenged is in feeling and expressing gratitude for other humans. I can easily feel gratitude for my safe warm home, my two cuddly dogs, or the beautiful zinnias blooming in my yard. And I can even find gratitude for folks who are distant from me or passed away, like my grandma or Thich Nhat Hanh.

More challenging is to feel gratitude for the people who I see or talk to on a regular basis. The people I take for granted. In fact, I can feel annoyed by people because they aren’t living up to my expectations, often noticing what they don’t do instead of what they do.

Offering daily care for our bodies

Dear friends,

These last couple of years have been hard on most of our bodies. In addition to COVID, like me you may have faced health challenges or feel disconnected from your body because of all the physical distancing, working from home, or lack of access to health care.

I have been trying to offer my body a guided deep relaxation at least once a day. What I find is that a short (15-30 minute) deep relaxation can reset my nervous system and my mind and help me drop into the present moment more fully. While I often fall asleep for part of the meditation, that doesn’t seem to keep me from feeling the benefits. Sometimes I don’t realize how much tension I have been holding in my body until I am able to let it go through the relaxation practice…

Self-Care, MindfulnessRachel SwitalaSeptember 28, 2022mindfulness practice, healingComment

Who is responsible for our suffering?

Dear Friends,

Last month, my friend Mitchell recommended that we both read Edith Eger’s book, The Choice. I found her description of her life before, during, and after the Holocaust to be quite amazing and inspiring. Eger became a psychotherapist, so in addition to telling her story, she analyzes her experiences through a psychological and spiritual lens.

Eger survived Auschwitz, moved to the United States, married and had children. She carried her childhood trauma with her, and she found herself looking around to find a source for what was making her so miserable. She concluded that her husband was the problem, and so decided to divorce him.

Once she was alone with herself and her feelings, she noticed that she was still unhappy and realized that quite a bit of her suffering was coming from inside. She writes, “I have become my own jailer, telling myself, ‘No matter what you do, you will never be good enough.’”

Self-Care, MindfulnessRachel SwitalaSeptember 14, 2022mindfulness practice, healingComment

What Are Your Mantras?

Dear Friends,

When I was about seven years old, I spontaneously developed a mantra that allowed me to make it through any emotionally painful conversation with my parents. I would repeat to myself, “She’s not going to kill me” whenever I was being reprimanded by her. This mantra allowed me to stuff my feelings and avoid collapsing in tears or running to my room - either of which simply made her madder.

Self-Care, MindfulnessAnnie MahonFebruary 13, 2020mindfulness practice Comments

Mindful Parenting - A talk by Annie at Blue Cliff Monastery

Last month, while attending a family retreat at Blue Cliff Monastery, I gave a talk on mindful parenting. In the talk, I share lots of stories of our parenting struggles and how the practice of mindfulness helped me/us get through it and find love and joy in the process. Parenting is hard. And my personal practice, looking clearly at what is really happening, and connecting to other parents are the things that consistently helped us.

Mindfulness, RelationshipsRachel SwitalaAugust 24, 2019mindful parenting, mindfulness practice, blue cliff monasteryComment

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