Dear Friends,
As the weather begins to turn slightly cooler and the days shorter, we naturally feel like turning more inward. During the time that the Buddha lived, he spent 45 years teaching - most of that time walking around India with his monastic community showing people how to find happiness and ease in the midst of our everyday suffering. But he also knew that it was important for his students to set aside time for self-reflection.
Read MoreDear Friends,
As times continue to be challenging for all of us, I’ve been reflecting about what I rely on in the toughest moments – what or who do I truly know is there for me?
Last year, when I first heard about a very painful situation happening with one of my kids, I basically froze. And while I was frozen on my couch, almost afraid to think, I realized that I still had one thing: this present moment as defined by the next in-breath.
Read MoreDear Friends,
As I sit at the lake and contemplate life (in addition to reading lots of novels — I’ve listed a few favorites below), I notice how much more I need to practice happiness now compared to when I was young.
I remember feeling good about so many things when I was a kid. My mom’s french toast (equal parts eggs and sour cream in the blender then soak the french bread and fry on the electric griddle), Saturday morning cartoons, the shapes of clouds, and so much more. Over time, it’s like our happiness receptors get dulled and we have to remember to be happy. Thich Nhat Hanh calls this the practice of generating joy.
Read MoreDear Friends,
Welcome to summer! I hope you are able to enjoy some more ease during these longer days. This past week, I was part of a couple of small online and in person retreats. In one retreat I heard a metaphor that stuck with me that may be helpful to practice with. Here goes…
Read MoreDear Friends,
Welcome to summer! I hope you are able to enjoy some more ease during these longer days. This past week, I was part of a couple of small online and in person retreats. In one retreat I heard a metaphor that stuck with me that may be helpful to practice with. Here goes…
Read MoreDear friends,
I am just back from a restful and transformative week at Plum Village in France where I enjoyed a 4:45AM wake-up each morning (!), outdoor stick exercises, sitting meditation, listening to dharma talks, walking meditation in the plum orchard, chopping vegetables, carrying compost, and a daily nap on the grass.
Read MoreDear Friends,
Today I am heading to Plum Village for a week of retreat. I have been going to Plum Village since 2003 (during a terrible heat wave in France), sometimes joined by kids, nephew, husband, or friends, and in recent years mostly by myself. In addition to mindfulness, the theme for next week’s retreat is vegan cooking! Because the rooms there are all full, I’ll be staying offsite at a guest house with a Dutch couple I met there last year. I’m excited to be returning to a place where I have experienced many happy and transformative moments.
Read MoreDear Friends,
I shared with you back in January that I have been practicing with mild depression for several months, mostly (I believe) a result of the oral chemo medicine I take daily to control my leukemia. Although there are times when we need to embrace our darkness and find out where it is coming from, other times it's enough to shift our mind to release the mood.
Read MoreDear friends,
These last couple of years have been hard on most of our bodies. In addition to COVID, like me you may have faced health challenges or feel disconnected from your body because of all the physical distancing, working from home, or lack of access to health care.
I have been trying to offer my body a guided deep relaxation at least once a day. What I find is that a short (15-30 minute) deep relaxation can reset my nervous system and my mind and help me drop into the present moment more fully. While I often fall asleep for part of the meditation, that doesn’t seem to keep me from feeling the benefits. Sometimes I don’t realize how much tension I have been holding in my body until I am able to let it go through the relaxation practice…
Read MoreDear Friends,
Last month, my friend Mitchell recommended that we both read Edith Eger’s book, The Choice. I found her description of her life before, during, and after the Holocaust to be quite amazing and inspiring. Eger became a psychotherapist, so in addition to telling her story, she analyzes her experiences through a psychological and spiritual lens.
Eger survived Auschwitz, moved to the United States, married and had children. She carried her childhood trauma with her, and she found herself looking around to find a source for what was making her so miserable. She concluded that her husband was the problem, and so decided to divorce him.
Once she was alone with herself and her feelings, she noticed that she was still unhappy and realized that quite a bit of her suffering was coming from inside. She writes, “I have become my own jailer, telling myself, ‘No matter what you do, you will never be good enough.’”
Read MoreDear friends,
I recently had our solar panels serviced, and Marquis, the man who serviced them, told me to check my house for "energy vampires."
I didn't know exactly what an energy vampire was, so he explained that an energy vampire is a piece of equipment that is secretly draining power, even when it's turned off.
This reminded me of a line from Thich Nhat Hanh’s Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings (the 14th) that says, "we are determined to ... learn ways to preserve and channel our vital energies(sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of our bodhisattva ideal.
Read MoreDear Friends,
Sharing my newest article on Elephant Journal:
Don’t Scratch; Feel the Itch. Why we Seek Distraction & How to Stop.
It's about how to find comfort in the present moment even if we may not like what's happening.
Dear Friends,
When I was about seven years old, I spontaneously developed a mantra that allowed me to make it through any emotionally painful conversation with my parents. I would repeat to myself, “She’s not going to kill me” whenever I was being reprimanded by her. This mantra allowed me to stuff my feelings and avoid collapsing in tears or running to my room - either of which simply made her madder.
Read MoreDuring this time of year, we may find that we get triggered by our families and friends or the expectations of the holiday season. If you’ve picked up a self-help book or read a holiday blog, you know that the supposed answer to all of this is to learn how to set boundaries. In addition to a lifelong self-help book addict, I am also a student of the Buddha, who says that in the ultimate dimension there is no separation between me and you, between me and this computer, or between me and the rain coming down at this moment. If there’s no separation, how can there be a boundary? This is a question I have pondered while watching the rain fall.
Read MoreI wrote my first blog post about mindful eating in 2008. Since then I've written several more posts and an entire book about mindful eating.
Read MoreAfter my friend Leigh lost her mother, she said that sorrow hit her at strange moments.
Read MoreAt the beginning of this year, I made an appointment with a counselor to help me deal with my fear of heights.
Read MoreI find change to be a rather hard thing to face. Adaptability has never been a strong suit of mine. I thrive off routine and knowing the unknown.
Read MoreI'm guessing everyone reading this has had angry moments when you felt taken over by your rage.
Read MoreOne of my most embarrassing childhood moments happened during my first year in middle school.
Read More
